Legal newsy email… 🥁 11/10
You’re a fly on the wall at a company party. It’s an insurance company who’ve just crossed an internal milestone. Which was a big deal. To *them*. Bubbles are being poured, backs are being patted. Success! Progress!
But at the back of the room, one lawyer isn’t in the mood for partying.
The lawyer knows this news means customer comms. The kind of comms customers hate.
It’s okay, you hear a writer say to the lawyer. Together we can handle this. I promise.
I got the email, and the writer was right.
Let’s take a look at it.
If you enjoy this teardown, please consider flicking it on to someone else who’d get a lot out of it ✌ (and if someone fabulous forwarded it to you, subscribe for free to get the next one).
I always anonymise the sender to Xxxx out of courtesy. Have a hunch? Guess away!
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Subject: “We're now a limited company”
Why did I open this email? Does it matter? Should I be questioning my life choices? The insurance company usually sends good emails… so I guess my expectations are anchored to past experience? Come on, instincts, don’t let me down.
“Hello Corissa
This is to let you know that we changed our business structure on 1 October 2021.
We now operate as Xxxx Ltd instead of Xxxx LLP. Our new company number is xxxxxxxx and our FCA firm reference number is xxxxxx.”
Ah, hmm. I am tryyying to care but I don’t. I sense the person who wrote the email knows this. Wonder where it will go from here?
“Everything else stays the same – including your policy with us and the people who help you.”
Well that’s a relief, they’ve answered questions I didn’t know I had. Which demonstrates a degree of customer understanding that makes me feel… seen.
“It's exciting news for us. And while we appreciate it might not hit quite the same spot for you, we’re legally obliged to tell you about it.”
<goosebumps>
Yes, this paragraph legit gave me goosebumps. Sad? Maybe. But in under a second, they’ve explained why they’ve sent this potentially-uninteresting announcement, acknowledged our differences in perspective, and done it with a wry glint. That’s, like, moon-on-a-stick territory.
“We hope that's okay. If you have any questions, please give us a call on xxxx xxx xxxx.”
Friend, it is *so* okay I just cannot even.
---------- End ----------
Conclusion:
Email Teardown Club score = 11/10
It’s been a while since I busted out the eleven. I have done so because this email embodies three key principles of writing for business:
1) Get to the point. 2) Empathise. 3) If appropriate, entertain.
How might you put these principles into practice next time you’re putting pen to paper?
Cheerio,
Corissa
P.S. In these teardowns, I mix my gut reaction as a customer with my background as a copywriter. The goal is to explore how messaging really lands out there in the Real World™. But I’m a sample size of one, so I’d love to hear your take too. Agree? Disagree? Hit reply and tell me!
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