Two words in every writer’s arsenal.
Done right, “picture this” (or its sibling “imagine this”) is an irresistible invitation. You find yourself going on a journey with YOU at the centre of the action.
Powerless to resist, you’re led towards doing whatever the writer of the email wants you to do.
There’s just one caveat.
“Picture this” has to be followed by something you can ACTUALLY PICTURE.
An email I received a few weeks ago nearly whisked me away on one such journey, but something about it ground to a halt.
Let’s take a look at what happened.
(P.S. hello hi how are ya? It’s been a while! A baby has emerged since the last teardown back in March, and I’m excited to be putting on my messaging hat once again.)
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Subject line: “Out of Stock”
OK, I’ll bite.
“Hey Corissa,
Picture this…
It’s the night before the big Black Friday sale.”
Night. O vast and mighty night. How do I picture thee? I’m grasping. I’m clutching at straws. I’m seeing… an expanse of… blankness. In a word, nothing.
Argh, I’m sorry but I’ve lost interest. A swipe to the right and the email is archived.
The problem is, for the reader to be able to see themselves in your story, you need to bung them in the middle of the stage as the unmistakeable main character.
The fix? All it takes is one little extra sentence in the email’s introduction:
“Picture this…
You’re snuggling down under the duvet. It’s the night before the big Black Friday sale.”
Yippee. There we are, my ego and I, clad in men’s joggers from Marks and Sparks. NOW we can party.
“You’ve been window-shopping all year — preparing for this moment.
You chose to wait for the sweet deals.
Now, the time has finally come.
You set yourself an early alarm — this year, you’ll be the first one there.
The next morning, your alarm goes off, you open your laptop…
…but it’s already too late.
“Out of Stock” messages flash in bright red under every item in your shopping list.
As you’ve probably guessed, the rest of the email goes on to promote an early bird offer.
---------- End of teardown ----------
The takeaway:
Strictly speaking, I am not the white-hot target customer for this particular email. This is because my partner already owns the item in question. It’s on the bookshelf behind me. D’oh!
Nevertheless. If you’re asking your reader to picture something, you have nothing to lose by making it really easy for them. Don’t rely on them being able to imagine an abstract or intangible setting where they’re not the centre of attention.
Cheerio,
Corissa
P.S. In these teardowns I guinea-pig myself on real live emails I’ve been sent. It’s legit, but I’m only a sample size of one, so I’d love to hear your take. Agree? Disagree? Hit reply!
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